Murphy’s Laws of my House

The longer it takes to clean the house, the shorter time it will take to get it messy again.

If the weatherman says "Chance of Showers"…it will rain. If the weatherman says "Sunbreaks", it will rain

The more laundry I have to do, the less laundry detergent there will be in the bottle.

The more tired I am when I got to bed at night, the higher the chance of Maddie sleeping poorly that night.

The amount of Salt Water Taffy in my house is directly related to how my pants fit

However bad my day is at work, it will not get any better when I get home.

If I need to remember my camera, I'll forget it. If I do happen to remember it…the battery will be dead.

If it's quiet in my house…something is getting wet, ripped, drawn on, hidden or broken.

If the remote is missing, one of the children knows where it is and can usually be bribed with candy.

If you put a single sock in the washer, the other one will not magically appear no matter how many times you wash it.

The phone only rings when I can't find it.When I rush to the phone, it's either not for me or a salesman.

If I'm on the computer, undoubtedly someone will be hungry, need toilet paper, stubbed a toe or have broken something of value.

End of a 3 Day Weekend

I’ll admit that it was extremely difficult to make myself go to work this morning.  3 day weekends are usually a way to teach me to love my job or remind my why I want to stay home.  This weekend was a little of both.

It started off really badly.  Joel worked all weekend so I spent most of the weekend alone with the two tyrants I call children.  Saturday was an all day tug of war with both of them. We battled over meals, snacks, toys, playing outside (it was RAINING), TV, computer, GameBoy, Juice, water, what color my pants were, whether or not it’s okay to change your clothes six times a day, who was the last person to touch the ball.  Honestly by the end of Saturday I was curled into the fetal position crying.  Joel came home and said “Bad day?” and I hurled silverware at him.  From the minute Joel came home, the kids were complete angels.  They played by themselves in the toy room for *gasp* 70 minutes without bothering anyone and without fighting.  I made enchiladas that night, which both of the kids hate so the oh-so-generous mother I am, made Mexi-Dogs for the kids (hot dogs with cheese wrapped in a tortilla shell).  Dylan was in heaven. Maddie wouldn’t touch it.  She wrinkled her little button nose and said it was nasty.  The kid who loves hot dogs, cheese and tortilla shells, but the mix of the three together was “nasty”.  Before I hung her from the clothes line, my dad called to save the day. He wanted to take the kids to the carnival.  HALLELUJAH.  For one half of a millisecond I considered going with them only because Dylan likes the spinning rides and my poor dad gets too dizzy to go on them with him.  However the image of my butt laying on the couch without little people bothering me for more than an hour was too tempting, so I stayed home. (in my defense, I took them last weekend).  

Sunday didn’t start off too bad, I got the house cleaned without being bothered for more than a juice box or help with a princess dress. We weighed the kids that day because both appeared to be going through a bit of a growth spurt lately.  3 weeks ago Maddie was 31 pounds (according to Joel anyway who has the memory of a house fly, I say 33 pounds but whatever) and Dylan was 51 pounds.  Sunday Maddie was 35 pounds and Dylan was 56.  I guess growth spurt would be the correct word…

Sunday night I made a really big dinner of Pork Roast and Mashed Potatoes.  Joel and I have a constant battle over mashed potatoes. I absolutely hate them and he loves them.  I like to EAT them, but only if someone else makes them. So he decided awhile ago that he would learn to make them.  Well he doesn’t make them any better than I do and I hate having him in my kitchen so on Sunday I took the job back.  He stood over my shoulder the whole time:

“Too much milk”
“More butter”
“You need to get the potatoes more on that side”
“There’s too many lumps”

He almost ended up with a lump on his head the size of the mixer.  Sure enough, I couldn’t make them any better and I told him he could have the job back.  

Monday was the best day of the three.  Maddie decided that although she said she was hungry for breakfast, she didn’t want to actually eat it.  After breakfast I took them to Wal Mart to get them new summer clothes.  Even though it’s raining and 50 degrees out, eventually summer will come. I believe that.  Halfway through the shopping trip Maddie got very dramatic and started moaning “when can I have some foooooood?” over and over again.  It would have been slightly comical had people not been staring at me like I was starving my kid.  Overall Monday was a really good day.  After Joel came home he had to run to the hardware store and offered to take the kids with him.  Dylan had his face buried in a game boy and mumbled something that sounded like “no thanks I’m just about to beat the Lizard” and Maddie said Yes” and then “no” and then “yes” and then “no” again. I jokingly told her if she stayed home I was just going to beat Dylan with a stick.  She said “Me too.” I laughed. Joel left.  A few minutes later Maddie came out of the other room with a long toy that would have looked similar to a stick. She said “I ready to play the stick fighting game with Bubba!”

Ricardo

The other day we were having a discussion in our house about names. It started off because we were talking about Maddie's name. Her name is Madelyn but we call her Maddie. Sometimes she gets mad at me if I call her Madelyn because she says "thats not my name, my name is Maddie." Dylan asked if we were going to name her anything else. I told him if I had my way, her name would be Delaney. Both of them looked at me really funny and Joel made some choking sounds. Joel said if he had his way, her name would have been Ashley. I rolled my eyes. I told Dylan that there were only three names that daddy and I could agree on for Maddie and that was Madelyn, Sidney and Jaden. Eventually we decided that we both liked Madelyn the best. When I say eventually I mean after about 10 minutes of arguing. Dylan said she didn't look like a Sidney or Jaden. He's right, she doesn't…but I can still see a little Delaney in her (im going to hold onto that one until my death). Then the discussion turned to Dylan's name. I said if I had my way, his name would be Zachery. He about fell out of his chair. He said "I am SOO not a Zachery mom." I said "Well, if your dad had his way, your name would be Casey." Dylan just stared at his dad in disbelief. Then Joel pipes up and says "Not Casey, but KC. As in the initials." At that point, Dylan and I simultaneously fell out of our chairs. We told him that Dylan was the only name we could agree on. We argued for MONTHS about this. Dylan said "I think I look like a Richard. You should have named me Richard. Then people would call me Ricardo." Now there's something I didn't think of.

LOST Finale

ABC did not disappoint me.  I was very pleased with the LOST finale.  So pleased in fact that my tiny little brain cannot take in all the information and clues and puzzles that show shoved into it last night.  Here are my thoughts, theories and questions after watching the finale last night.

1. I was totally expecting Hurley or Sawyer to whip out a gun and shoot Michael on the spot after Michael admitted to killing Libby and Ana Lucia.  
2. The bird DID say Hurley’s name.  What the heck was up with that bird? IT WAS HUGE
3. We now know that it really is impossible to try and sail away from the island. Why???? Where are they?  Desmond tried for 2.5 weeks and got nowhere.  
4. I can’t believe Eko was stupid enough to try to blow up that door in that tiny little place. What the heck did he think was going to happen???  At least drug addict Charlie had the brains to see that one coming.  I can’t believe that either one of them lived through that.
5. I suspected awhile ago that the button and the numbers somehow had something to do with the plane crashing, but I didn’t know how or why.  That’s awesome.  After they let the numbers go down last night I fully expected to see another plane crash on the island.
6. We now know that “Henry” is actually in charge. Or as in charge as we can see, there may or may not be someone higher than him. What confuses me is that when “Henry” was actually in the hatch with John and John was trapped, Henry told him he did not push the button, when he so obviously DID push the button.  Why would he lie to him.  He apparently wanted John to not push the button eventually, but why?
7. Desmond’s girlfriend Penny is either trying to rescue him, or her fathers company is actually in charge of this island situation and the Dharma institute.  I don’t know.Im confused on that one.

All I know is that I can’t wait until next season. I’m on the edge of my seat. If you don’t watch Lost and actually made it this far through my post, I highly recommend starting watching this.  It’s the best show ever put on television.

Sleepiness

Yesterday Maddie fell asleep in the car on the way home.  She slept until almost 7:00 pm when Joel finally woke her up.  It took about 20 minutes to wake her up. He tried just about everything including cleaning out her ears, opening her windows, turning on the fan, and pulling back the covers. When she did wake up she was really tired and crabby.  At 9:00 I put her back to bed and she fell asleep okay, because I think she was still tired.  Unfortunately she woke up at 1:00 and didn’t get back to sleep until after 4:00.  Considering I didn’t’ even go to bed until after midnight, I didn’t really get much sleep last night. Have pity on me.  Hopefully we won’ t have a repeat of this tonight because I have to be to work early tomorrow.  Wake me when the day is over.

12 hours to go

Tonight is the season finale of Lost.  I’m very bittersweet about this episode.  As anyone who reads my blog knows, I love this show.  I started watching it from the very first episode and was obsessed immediately.  I’ve never missed an episode and even record the episode and watch them again.  Last year I was extremely disappointed in the finale.  I didn’t feel it was as satisfying or delivered as well as it could have.  I was a little pissed off and swore I’d never watch it again.  

Of course September came and I was excited to watch again.  This season has proven to be even better than the first.  Now here I am at the season finale of season 2 and I’m nervous.  The rumor is that this season finale will be the best season finale of any show ever.  That statement makes me really nervous.  I am afraid I will be disappointed again.  Hopefully I’m setting myself up for disappointment only to be blown away.  

Either way, from 9:00 until 11:00 pm tonight I will not be moving from my couch. There are only a few things that could move me from that spot for those two hours:

1. If one of my children should have an arm or leg fall off in their sleep.
2. If my neighbors house should spontaneously combust into a giant bonfire.  In that case I would just get the S’Mores stuff ready and send Joel over with a stick.
3. If Chris Martin should show up at my door.  I’d make room on the couch for him.
4. If my TV died.  That happened last year. At the very end of an episode of Survivor.  It just shut off and never came back on.  If that happened tonight, someone better make room for me on their couch ASAP.

Again with the neighbor drama

I can't believe I forgot about this. Friday when Joel came home, Crazy Mary was out front with the septic guy looking at it. She shot some serious daggers into my poor innocent husband's heart with her eyes. He just laughed. He got out of his truck and wouldn't you know it….the septic alarm went off. Right in front of Joel and the septic man. The woman has never moved as quickly in her life as she did to shut it off. I wish I could have been there. Monday morning when I was leaving for work, that same septic man was out in front of the house fixing it. I don't know what was wrong with it or what he did to fix it, I'm just happy I don't have to hear that damn buzzing noise anymore.

Ten on Tuesday

1) Do you panic when people come over and feel the need for your home to be "perfect?"ROFLMAO – Yea right.  If it’s a LOT of people, as in a party, then I will make sure it’s acceptable. Otherwise I don’t give a rats butt.

2) On a scale from 1-10, how organized are you?At work, it’s a 10. Easily.
At home…maybe an 8. Just don’t look in closets and drawers.

3) Have you ever played laser tag? Paintball?No

4) How many bottles of wine are in your house right now? Liquor? Cases of beer?No wine. I drank it all (LOL) Seriously a bottle of wine doesn’t last very long around me.  I usually only buy one if I plan on drinking it over the course of a weekend.  I don’t just keep them around in case.

We have a liquor cabinet with R&R and Vanilla Vodka, plus a lot of peppermint schnapps for Christmas time and some misc. bottles that got left here after parties and such.

We have a couple beers that got left when someone would bring them over for a party or something. Joel doesn’t drink beer so we just keep them around if someone comes over who does.

5) Have you ever tried "Eastern" methods of medicine or other "alternative" methods?I don’t think so

6) What is your desktop picture? Screensaver?Desktop picture at home and work are Chris Martin from Coldplay.  
The screensaver at home is pictures of the kids. At work is Coldplay pictures.

7) Who put on the best concert you've ever been to?Coldplay.  I can’t say which concert was best because they were equally good.  They put on a general overall great show no matter what.

How many songs do you have in iTunes (or other mp3 organizer)? About how many cds do you own?I have probably 300 MP3’s on my computer. I have 100’s of CD’s

9) What is your favorite piece of computer software?No favorite.
10) Why did the chicken cross the road?It was running from Colonel Sanders.

Girls Don’t have nuts

Last night Maddie and I were watching something on TV and Maddie says “That’s a girl, mom.”

I said “Yes, it is a girl.”

Maddie says “girls don’t have nuts.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Where the heck did she hear that? I sincerely hope she actually meant something else when she said that or maybe even I misunderstood her.  Either way, I couldn’t stop laughing and had to leave the room.

Happy Anniversary to Me

Friday night Dylan had a game. They got creamed, but Dylan went 2 for 3 with a screaming double into right center field. It sprinkled off and on and Maddie and I left a little early. Saturday was our 6 year wedding anniversary. I scrubbed the house top to bottom while Joel worked and then took the kids to my dads and Joel and I went out to dinner. Our plan was to go somewhere fancy but we ended up at Applebee's. It was just as good but less expensive. We spent 2 days not talking to each other and then right before dinner we decided to call a truce and enjoy a nice dinner together. Nice way to spend an anniversary. Today we took the kids down to Viking Fest. Every year we take them down on Sunday Morning first thing so it's not so crowded. This year that backfired. It was packed. The line for tickets alone was insane. We had fun though. Maddie rode on the ferris wheel for the first time. She and Dylan rode on these kiddie planes. He wasn't took thrilled but he enjoyed himself just as much as she did. She rode on these little trucks by herself. Dylan and I went on the Tilt a Whirl, which he loved. Then he played some games while Maddie and I watched some dancers in the Pavillion. We sat on what she calls her "Talking Bench". One day she and I went down ther just because and we sat and watched the boats and talked and now it's our "talking bench." After the carnival we went to Azteca in Bremerton for Lexi's 14th birthday. It was a lot of fun and the kids were good. We had a birds nest in the carport with some eggs in it. If you go near it you get divebombed by the mommy and daddy. Today the birds hatched and fell out. The mom and dad birds were freaking out. Then the cat got one of the babybirds and was getting attacked by the mom and dad birds. Then the stupid (or I should say…smart) cat used the baby bird as bait for the mom and dad birds. Left the dead baby bird out in the open and then hid in the bushes waiting for the mom and dad birds to come to it so he could attack them. National Geographic in our backyard.